November Rains

'Gosh, it has started raining again, run Maddy run' I could hear myself shouting on my friend.

'Shit…….  Its always like this' I thought, the time when you don’t have anything for cover, they leave all taps open in the clouds. I hate rains… I hate getting wet. ..We ran for a shelter, found a panwala nearby, We stood there for a while, had some talk, then saw the watch, and remembered,  we had to be at home in half an Hour.

'Shit man, have to leave yaar…. else I'm dead.'

I hailed an Auto, told the address and jumped inside avoiding max possible raindrops,

'Oh, so your cousin coming from US of A right ’?  Maddy said mockingly.

'Shut up yaar, c ya,  will drop by tommorow.' I told him.

 Then I saw her, standing with her friends in nearby shop. I dont know if she saw me or not, it would not have made any difference anyway.

Ria. ….. That pretty face, that innocence and cuteness was beyond comparison. She had a strange aura in her overall behavior, that the world all seemed so wonderful, so beautiful, by just her presence. She was like sweet child; you could never deny anything she would ever ask for. Refusing anything to her face to face, with those rosy dimples and arresting dark green eyes? I don’t think even god could do that. We go back a little. Oh sorry, not we, I go back a little with her.

 Yes….We were friends, I hate to admit the past tense here, but somehow it’s like that now, an irreversible choice already made. I don’t know what they call it, getting lost when she used to be around, staring at the mobile phone after her call, more than talking, thinking a lot many times about what would she think, before sending even a stupid SMS.A feeling that had the power, that would make me lose the sense of time, sense of surroundings, even the sense of standing on the ground.

I used to be speechless after hearing a 'hello' from the other side, forget the reason for the call, and then fumble with words, make absurd sentences, ask the same question more than once. Whatever it was, it was like a drug, and it had a power to mess with the basic simple functions of brain.

 We were in the same class, I saw her in second week, We usually don’t turn up to college in the first, do we? She was sitting on the first bench listening intently every word coming out of the profs mouth, like someone is telling you a Swiss bank account number, and u have nothing to write it down. We enjoyed those days a lot, hopeless backbenchers, the staff used to call us. The almighty was not that cruel as it turned out; we turned out to be practical partners, she being 'Shah' like me. That day I had thanked my parents and god for that surname. Somehow it was always a job of a secretary/Assistant I used to opt, cursing the science big shots, Thevenin and Nortan.

We never used to see each other apart from those three hours. Still day by day, my friends somehow started guessing something. What is this like? A beacon? A Big red indicator over your head, flashing a 'This guy is ‘in love' sign?

Love, they used to call it, I never accepted this accusation, they always told me to go and ask her. Days past, There was a college gathering. My friends say, I'm a good singer, so went for it. Even I thought something in my mind. Some thoughts shaping up. The restlessness getting some answers, I thought of asking her at least for a coffee after my song, she sure must be in the audience. She must hear my song as well, I thought. It’s not like I have not sung before an audience, but that day, the pressure felt like monstrous. I heard my name called on stage. With trembling feet, and sweating forehead, i set foot on stage, I started the song. My eyes searching that special face effortlessly. I finished with the first stanza still with no luck, there was a Guitar solo, took a break and concentrated on the other task. In a matter of seconds, I saw her. ……

Those dark green eyes were not even looking at the stage, hand in hand with a very tall, cute, young, charming (blah, blah...whatever-they-say) boy. Jolly and happy in their own talk, the rest of the world seemed worthless to them, singing their own opera, oblivious to surroundings...

The guitar faded... i could hear a distant prompting sound to continue...but there were no more lyrics...Guitar continued another note..........

'30 Rs bhaisaab.'

'Umm...ohh...'. I fumbled in the pocket, put 50 Rs note in his hand, muttered something that he probably didnt understand. I didn't care...I was getting drenched from tip to toe...I didn't care...There was a single streetlight flickering accross the road...I didnt care...

Sometimes I need some time...on my own

Sometimes I need some time...all alone

Everybody needs some time...on their own

Don't you know you need some time...all alone

----- m.e.r.c.u.r.y

Also blogs at http://mercvision.blogspot.com/